Playscript - Atman
Written by Administrator
The play "Atman" is inspired by the writings of Borghes. It has been performed a number of times, but the playscript has never been published.
ATMAN
There are two characters - A and B.
The characters can be any age. They can be any sex.
SCENE 1.
A room.
A
I appear to be stuck.
B
Stuck how.
A
Stuck.
B
More stuck. More stuck than usual.
A
No. This is different.
B
In what way.
A
In all ways. I’m stuck in time. Especially in time. In place.
B
How so.
A
I was perusing the other day. I was perusing the library. And I picked up a book.
B
Naturally.
A
It was a book I had never seen before.
B
Yet it belonged to your library.
A
The library. Sometimes books find their ways in to places. I picked it up and started to read it. And it wasn’t long before I realised that I knew it.
B
It was your book. You owned it.
A
No. I knew it. I had lived it. I said, the library. Then I looked at the cover and it was my name on the front. I read and read it. The further and further I read into it the more I remembered. It was like walking past a bakery, your mother, a tree, the sea. It was my life.
B
It was an autobiography.
A
I’ve never written anything in my life.
B
By someone else.
A
It was exact. It knew things that only I knew. It could never have been written by someone else. It took me a long time to read it. I can’t recall exactly how long. At first it was pleasant. It was like finding something which I’d known through long use. A pair of shoes to walk mountains in. Wine glasses you shared with a lover. I enjoyed reading about my first memories. Memories which I had almost quite forgotten. Although I’m sure they’re somewhere in the subconscious. Waiting for something to trigger them.
B
Are you sure that wasn’t it. A dream.
A
It wasn’t. And then it became a sort of obsession. I would stay up all night reading it. All night. I didn’t want to eat. To kiss my wife. To walk in the trees near my house. All I wanted to do was read it. I was enjoying it. But at the same time it was taking too long. It was taking forever. All the moments in it were so well realised. So exact. So described. It would take twenty pages to describe the taste of the first cake I remember eating. It took fifty pages to describe my first memory. The character/
B
You.
A
Me.
B
You’re the character.
A
Yes, but.
B
You’re the actual character in the book. It’s you in every way, you say. In effect there’s no difference between you and the person in the book.
A
Of course there is. Of course, there’s a difference.
B
How so.
A
I’m real. I’m living my life. I’m real. This was written down. It was a facsimile of my life.
B
You don’t think it’s as valid.
A
Of course not.
B
You don’t think that this written story of your life can be as true. Can’t be as real. You think there’s only one version of your life.
A
Yes. Of course.
B
I want to return to your story.
A
Yes, I haven’t finished it.
B
But first I want to explore this. I want to experiment. I obviously know your orientation through previous discussions. This is an intriguing device which we maybe can utilise. Imagine, you meet a friend and something happens. You go to a café, say. You order espressos because you’ve just had your lunch and you read somewhere that you shouldn’t drink milk after eating. The waitress comes over to you. She is pretty. She wears a black t-shirt and is young. Your order repeats itself in your head, wondering how you will say it, what inflection. You’ve had too long to think of it. But before you get to deliver it she falls over a bag which someone has left carelessly in her way. You catch her before she falls and hurts herself. She is a little embarrassed that you caught her the way you did. She doesn’t know you, and your hands touch her breasts. She was off balance and so you held her like that for longer than what would be considered proper. Your friend didn’t see this. The other people in the café look at you. They think you are a nice person. That you helped this girl. But both you and she know the truth. That helping her wasn’t the main thing that stayed with you. What stayed with you was the touch of her skin. The young skin. The thought that you wanted to have sex with this girl, and that if the circumstances were right, she would like to. You felt yourself get a little aroused, and on lifting her up, she felt that you were aroused too, and this made her even more embarrassed. She could sense you were thinking all of these things.
A
Why are you making this up?
B
Your friend returned home to his girlfriend and told her the story. Do you think his story was the same as yours. Do you think the reality he created was the same as yours. No. His version of your life was different. And so the story of your life changed. It sent out little waves, each changing through time and the listener. It sent out different versions of your life, and they’re still out there, ebbing and flowing, ever increasing and expanding, an infinity of versions of you and your life. This is one of them.
A
The book. Is one of them.
B
The book is one of them. Although it’s hard to say where it has come from. And one so exact.
A
That’s the thing. That’s just the thing.
B
That’s the mystery. But that doesn’t have to concern us just now.
A
I thought that was exactly the thing that concerned us.
B
Very well. Very well. Where did you find it.
A
In the library.
B
It seems to me that time is passing quickly and that we’ll soon run out of it if we carry on stating things twice, three times, four times. You already mentioned the library. You mentioned the library as soon as you sat down. It was one of the first things you mentioned. And so you can feel free to move on a bit quicker, if we hope to get to the bottom of this mystery.
A
I work in the library.
B
I know.
A
It’s a good job.
B
Yes. It’s a good job. Steady.
A
Yes. I was on the way to the basement.
B
Is that where you work. In the library.
A
No. I work on the top floor.
B
So what were you doing in the basement.
A
I went to look for a book. People often come in with requests.
B
And you went down to the basement to find what this person wanted.
A
Yes. I’d never been there before. And I went through the wrong door.
B
So not into the basement.
A
No. Into another room.
B
The library is part of the University.
A
That’s an axiom. As you know, there’s only one University. There’s only one Library. I presume, seeing as you’re sitting there, that you went there as well. I presume from the certificates behind your receptionist that you went there.
B
I did.
A
And so it is as much your University as mine. Why state it then. Why state the obvious.
B
That’s what I said. Your University.
A
Do you know the library well.
B
I know it contains all the books ever written. I know the section I used. I’m sure you do too, as you work there, realise the sheer scale of it. I would get in the elevator and make my way to my floor. The floor where the books I used were. I know these books. I know the mechanics of how to get books in and out of the place. Where to find them and where to sit and read them. That is as much as I need to know of any library. If there was more than one. I imagine it would be similar.
A
I’m not sure if I should tell you. What I know.
B
Everything you say here is confidential.
A
I’m involved in a particular project. And not everyone knows this. There’s a plan. The library contains every book ever written. They plan to expand it so it also contains every book that could be written. Every book possible.
B
The number of books that can be written are infinite.
A
Yes, if one uses only the letters. If one uses only the words in the language it soon becomes apparent that, although the number may be huge, the number of combinations of words is vastly reduced. And although at the beginning it will take a great work to begin to even begin to fill the shelves, we’ll eventually find the curve gradually settles. Although new words will be found, and invented, there is a close to finite amount of books. This work will take a long time. But it is possible. It is exciting, no. For our new nation. Actual, its essential. Given our past history.
B
I take it you are referring to the last Monarch, before democracy.
A
Yes. He wanted to burn all the books that were written/
B
Before he was born. Yes. I read newspapers. I know this.
B
Theoretically other languages could exist. This would upset your cart of apples.
A
I think we can both accept that that particular theory holds no water.
B
Why not.
A
Because for a language to exist there would also have to exist the people capable of using that language. People are not infinite nor are there, relatively, a massive number of them. People did wonder in the beginning if other languages existed. But everyone has now been accounted for. The world has been mapped extensively. And not one group amongst them spoke another language. Theory yes. But empirical knowledge now tells us we can safely discount that. Anyway. Too much rests on it. Another language would be destructive.
B
How so.
A
Where would it come from in the first place? Imagine the work involved. The library’s future work would, in an instant, be sent into chaos.
B
What if other lands were to be found.
A
That’s impossible.
B
We are aware of the boundaries of the world. Surrounded by water as we are. What if we were to find something to make us doubt ourselves beyond the water. What if there were something beyond the water.
A
There is nothing beyond the water but space.
B
There could be.
A
You know what you are saying is faintly blasphemous. I feel we are digressing. On my time.
B
It helps cast light on things. On your state. Mental.
A
We are digressing.
B
Has anyone thought that, although the number of words in the language might be finite, the possible length of the books isn’t.
A
What do you mean?
B
You are still dealing with infinity. You might just be using one language. But the books could be a page long. A word long. A million words long. The work will never finish because it too is infinite. Have any of your colleagues thought of that.
A
I don’t think anyone has thought of that.
B
Maybe it would be astute to send a memo.
A
Maybe.
B
Very well. So you went down the elevator into the basement. And.
A
I was searching for this book. For the library user I mentioned earlier. And for some reason I stopped. I turned. And I picked a book. This book in my hands.
B
What attracted you to it?
A
I don’t know. Strange. It was surrounded by books of similar sizes. Although some were bigger. Some were smaller.
B
I wonder why you were attracted to it.
A
Sometimes things attract us and we don’t know why. A flower for some reason catches your attention. You look up at a cloud. A blade of grass. It was chance. I just looked.
B
We’ve already covered what happens in the book. Are you still reading it.
A
I’ve stopped. I’ve reached today.
B
Why did you stop reading it where you did. You’re not in the least bit curious about the future.
A
I stopped. I didn’t want to know what happened.
B
You didn’t look at all.
A
I flicked.
B
You flicked through it. Many people would give an arm and leg to see what was in front of you. But you decided against it. And what did you see.
A
I saw things I didn’t like. Things I can’t believe will happen.
B
What things.
A
I don’t want to talk about it.
B
Hard to help, in that case. Hard to help. Was there much left. We can safely assume that the first part of the book up till now was commesurate with the length of time of your life. Were there many pages left.
A
No.
B
Relatively.
A
Relatively. Hardly any.
B
That is worrying. For you. It would indicate an imminent end. A demise.
A
Thank you for putting it so boldly.
B
My job isn’t to make you feel good. It’s to explain why you feel bad. Are you sure you don’t want to reveal what you read.
A
Like I said, I only flicked through it. I saw only random words and sentences.
B
Some of these words.
A
Fire. Death. Beginning. Girl. Dark.
B
Girl is quite positive.
A
What should I do.
B
You’ve presented me with an interesting conundrum. Indeed. Let’s forget about the origin of these books. That doesn’t affect us. The books exist. Maybe someone created them. Maybe they are a symptom of the world as it is. We must concern ourselves with the true nature of the book. Therefore we possibly need to be more empirical, tocoin a phrase you yourself have utilised in our discussion, in our exploration. Have you tried writing in it.
A
No.
B
Not even in the margins.
A
No.
B
Why don’t you try and insert a page into it. A small event.
A
What do you think will happen. I don’t quite like the idea of guinea pigging myself. You’re suggesting I suggest something to happen in the book.
B
And see if it does. Someone has written the book. Someone has created it. Maybe it’s not an open and shut case. Anyway. That is my advice to you. You have to admit that with recent developments it would appear that you’re not quite in control yourself. This could give you a sense of control back. Write something innocuous. Something which won’t cause too much trouble. For example. Don’t write about a war. Or someone dying. Or planets exploding. Write about a milkshake. Or a piece of fruit. Or a pair of shoelaces. Write about something happy making.
A
Ok. I’ll give it a go.
B
And we’ll talk about it the next time we see one another. The time is up for this session.
SCENE TWO
A
I did what you said.
B
Which was.
A
I wrote a story. And put it into the book. It took me a long time to write it.
B
Why.
A
I wanted to get every detail right.
B
And did you.
A
At the beginning, yes.
B
You seem agitated.
A
I am a little bit, yes.
B
A bit topsy-turvy.
A
A little.
B
Why don’t you start at the beginning.
A
I wrote out the story that you recounted to me the other day. The one about the girl in the café. I wrote it down pretty much exactly. And then I inserted it into the book, my work is beginning to suffer by the way, and waited. I went to the café. My work is suffering. I find it hard to think of much else. The temptation is not easy to live with.
B
With a friend. To the café.
A
No.
B
Why not.
A
I wanted to do this alone.
B
Very well.
A
And it was the strangest experience. It was a little bit like. How I imagine. God feels.
B
You do know that God has been discredited of late.
A
Amongst certain people, yes.
B
Experiments. Well, I really do feel we must be more scientific about your situation. If you want to gain succour from imaginary beings, maybe a church of some kind would be more suitable for you. One that involves happy singing and bright clothes.
A
This isn’t a question of my faith. My faith has nothing to do with this.
B
I find it is getting in the way. Of clear mental health. It’s old fashioned. Continue with the story.
A
I think you should apologise.
B
Why.
A
I feel I’ve been slighted.
B
You’ve been no such thing.
A
My faith is not up for discussion here. I can believe what I want. It makes me happy. It makes me less lonely. It makes the world less cold.
B
If it helps us move on, I apologise. So carry on.
A
It happened just as I imagined it would happen. She arrived to take my order. She was young. Slim. You could see the skin of her belly between the top of her trousers and her t-shirt. She was very slim. I watched her serve some other people and I liked the way she held the hair away from her face as talked to them/
B
Could you please get on with it.
A
What do you mean.
B
Is all this description really necessary.
A
I’m trying to set the scene.
B
I think you’ll find that you don’t have to.
A
For atmosphere.
B
You have a captive audience. One who’s being paid, rather than vice-versa. It was me who told you the story in the first place. Let’s just keep it to the… shall we call it the plot. Just give me the plot. Don’t describe what her shoes were like. How she held her hair. What colour of tray she had. Just tell me what happened. And I’ll pretend I don’t know what happened. And we’ll go from there.
A
You don’t know what happened.
B
I invented the story. I know what happened/
A
You didn’t invent her.
B
I invented a version of her. Your version of her was based along these lines. I invented an archetype.
A
You didn’t invent her. She was a real person. She was a person long before I saw her. Before I thought of her. Before I met you.
B
She might be invented. She might be entirely fictional. She might be an unfortunate woman who unfortunately got involved in your experiment. She might be your anima.
A
My what.
B
You work in a library as well. Your anima. The female part of your psyche. It’s very dangerous to fall in love with your anima. Projections. Fatal. Basics. This is basics. Do you never read. Did you… did you write into the book that she was to perform acts with you. I hope not.
A
No.
B
We’ll see. You’ll reveal it to me at the proper point in the story, I hope.
A
If you stopped interrupting I would have finished it by now.
B
You’re paying me to interrupt.
A
I’ll pay you not to.
B
That indeed would be a happy day. Anyway. Continue.
A
She came over to me to take my order. As she neared the table she looked up. What a smile. It seemed to light up her face. Her eyes crinkled a little bit, you could tell it was a proper smile. Not a mouth smile. You get mouth smiles and smile smiles. And the light in the café, it was just for that moment, and this bit I didn’t write, she was back-lit and so there seemed to be some kind of gold halo behind her. It almost lit up the café with her glowing/
B
Why don’t you just tell me how many fillings she had, as well.
A
She tripped on a bag. She fell in my lap. Her breasts fell into my hands. She secretly enjoyed it. The end.
B
A slight discrepancy sneaking in there between our stories.
A
It’s my story.
B
Right well. I suppose you should be congratulated. Getting back to the whole point of this. You’ve successfully conducted an experiment revealing that if one inserts words into this book, it corresponds with a change in the path of your life.
A
Well put.
B
I know.
A
And.
B
Yes.
A
And what do I do now.
B
I would put that particular book back on the shelf. And forget about it.
A
I can’t do that. Now that I know it exists. And anyway. I maybe didn’t tell you the whole extent of the story.
B
I thought you’d reached the climax. And the resolution. Indeed, one said, the end, if one recalls correctly. No. The book, if indeed there was a book, has performed an important function for us. It has shown you that you can indeed have control of your life. You’ve learnt that you can indeed write the chapters of your life. You’re in control. We’ve made leaps here. Gazelle sized metaphorical leaps. What I’d say to you is to write it down. Your goals. The things you want to achieve. Buy a little book. With blank pages. Write things down in the little book. You’ll be amazed at the results.
A
But the book is real.
B
But. Come now.
A
Here it is.
A takes out the book.
A
Look. Read some. I’ve marked today’s page.
B
Well. That is indeed. Strange.
A
I think it describes you quite accurately.
B
I think not. I think/
A
Have you reached the bit about masturbation. You were busy while I was in the waiting room.
B
It would appear. That you’ve been telling the truth.
A
Of course I’ve been telling the truth. I wrote a little bit more in the book. It was/
B
I’m sorry. Time’s up.
A
But don’t you want to know/
B
Musn’t keep the other clients waiting. Till next time.
A
Yes. Next time.
A leaves.
B
And if what you’re saying is true, on no account/
A has left.
SCENE THREE
A
Do you have coffee here. Can your secretary make some coffee,
B
We have herbal teas.
A
Herbal… that’s no use. Herbal. Boiled leaves. That’s no use.
B
Would you like me to get her to knock you out a line or two of cocaine while she’s at it.
A
I just want something a little stronger than mango and guava.
B
Healthy body. Healthy mind. Look at me. You seem a little greyer. A little more haunted. How have things been since I saw you last time.
A
Interesting. Can I finish my story now? I guess I’m not going to get a coffee.
B
I would recommend not adding addiction to your roster of complaints and failings. Have there been further developments?
A
You could say that.
B
Fire away.
A
After she fell in my lap she got up. The owner gave me a free coffee and a selection of small muffins, so I wouldn’t… sue him… or something. I ate them all. Which I normally wouldn’t do. I’m very clear on that kind of thing. I went down to pay/
B
You just said he gave you a free coffee.
A
I went down to pay.
B
It’s a gap of logic. A reader would notice that a mile off. And even if they didn’t, they’d feel something was amiss.
A
I went down to pay for the book I’d just bought.
B
Hang on. You said you were in a restaurant. Now you’ve jumped to a book shop.
A
It was a café which sold books. This is a story. Stop being so literal. I went down to pay. And there she was at the till.
B
Your anima. Your imaginary woman.
A
No. She asked me out.
B
She asked you out.
A
She asked me out.
B
Not the other way round.
A
No.
B
It wasn’t… you asked her out and she said no.
A
She asked me out.
B
Well. Well, that’s a result.
A
It is. Is it.
B
Of course it is. It’s more than that. It’s a sea change.
A
How so.
B
Let me shift our attention from this story, back to the reason for your coming here in the first place. You complained of feeling disconnected. Of an inability to make friends. To maintain friends.
A
Only when they don’t make the effort back. Some of them have never even phoned me. It was always me doing the chasing. Always me making the effort.
B
Yes. Leading to what you called “the great clear-out”.
A
Yes.
B
Which put you in the position of feeling lonely. You described it in ways such as - being too aware of the darkness. You complained of physical symptoms which accompanied this malaise. Sore head. Sore feet. Sore back. A lack of creativity. I feel it’s good to recap on the back story from time to time. It always brings us back to the point of it all. As to why we’re here. Or else we’re liable to go off into cul-de-sacs about muffins and cats. Anyway. You came to me, specifically, to make you happier.
A
Cats. I’ve never mentioned. Do I look happier.
B
No. But sometimes one must swallow tough medicine to get to the point they want to get to. And this is the beginning of the point. It is the singularity. The point in time before the big bang. The little point of hope and energy which, with the right touch-paper, will move you forward. Something out of which you can create an emotional universe. So how did she react when you said no.
A
I didn’t say no.
B
In other words, you said yes.
A
Yes. I said yes. Of course. She was hot.
B
Right. Didn’t we talk about this.
A
No.
B
I’m sure we talked about this.
A
We didn’t. Our session ended abruptly/
B
On time.
A
Last time. I don’t recall you saying anything that would impinge on my circumstances.
B
You didn’t hear me say, on no account…
A
No. I didn’t hear… did you say that. Did you say on no account something do not do this on no account.
B
On any account. I did. Yes, I recall it now. You had gone.
A
So what was this stirling bit of advice.
B
On no account agree to see her or continue to have any kind of spatial, temporal, physical, mental relationship with this woman. It’s just a hunch. But safety first, as my wife says.
A
You could have told me.
B
That’s a nice ring. Gold, is it.
A
Yes.
B
I notice you’ve booked a double session today. And that you’re wearing Italian calfskin brogues. Very nice. Come into the money, have we.
A
A little.
B
Let’s come back to that. Have you seen that woman, since.
A
Yes.
B
Describe it to me. With no bells and whistles.
A
It’s just…it’s just getting a little intense.
B
What did you write in the book. Remember, everything said in here is confidential. What did you write.
A
I suggested we go on a date. To a medium priced restaurant. Librarians aren’t made of money.
B
No. But libraries are.
A
What. Made of what/
B
Paper.
A
Librarians.
B
Money.
A
So. Well. We started seeing each other. And it was wonderful. Perfect.
B
Little wonder. Considering you had written it.
A
That wasn’t it at all. She was warm. Loving. Great in bed. She made muffins. Big ones. Not the little… She wasn’t jealous. She was perfect. For a time.
B
Then what happened.
A
She accused me of being emotionally distant.
B
You are.
A
She accused me of having verbal diarrhoea.
B
You do.
A
She said that she loved me more than I loved her. And that it was killing her.
B
Love. She mentioned love. You wrote love in the book.
A
Yes.
B
This will be interesting. Even from the little you’ve told me I can deduce the immense pulls that this woman is under. It explains why things are bubbling up a bit. She is in love and has all the irrational and chemical induced feelings which generally accompany it. But she also feels a bit of disgust when she’s with you. When she’s lying in your arms and you’re snoring gently and she’s thinking to herself, what on earth am I doing here, somewhere in the back of her mind, she knows. She knows that something is amiss. I think you’ll find, increasingly, that there will be ruffles in the smooth sea of her subconscious.
A
I’ll deal with them. If they arise.
B
I was hoping to leave this till later, but it looks like we’re going to have to jump forward a few sessions. Here it is. Pay heed. Your actions have consequences.
A
Right.
B
Think of what I’ve just said and try and give me an example.
A
I might go to the fridge to get a drink of squash as a consequence of being thirsty. If I drink the squash my thirst is quenched as a consequence of drinking it.
B
Right. Terrible. Anyway. Some people would use the rather old fashioned term, karma, to try to explain it. Of course, we have a much clearer idea of its true nature now. Experiments. But let’s take that further. As a consequence of you messing around with this woman. Real or not. An earthquake might go unnoticed on the sea floor off the coast. Someone might run out of milk for their cereal. A poet might write a poem which leads someone to the edge of a cliff looking at their lives.
A
Absolutely absurd.
B
You have to realise that you don’t know all the consequences of your actions. They are little waves sent out by you. The more you try and fix them, the more something gives somewhere else. And who knows where it will all lead. Let’s talk about the jewellery.
A
Trinkets. I have much nicer ones at home. But I’m scared of getting robbed.
B
What else did you write. In your book.
A
I deserve it. Just as much as anyone else.
B
Don’t you feel an emptiness, due to the fact that you didn’t actually do something worthwhile in order to save in order to buy something you really wanted, or indeed, needed.
A
I like them.
B
I thought we’d been making progress.
A
I like them. If I wasn’t meant to have it, I wouldn’t have it. It must all be part of the grand plan. It means I must be special.
B
The thought of a grand plan has been discredited.
A
It’s preordained.
B
Preordination has been discredited. Experiments. Empirical proof.
A
You have no faith. The world is a cold place for you. You’re jealous. You’re jealous these things are happening to me. You’re jealous. You don’t want me to be happy because unhappiness is what feeds the great furnace, what pays your mortgage, what brings people to your door. Well, I don’t need you any more. My life is going great. I’ve got everything I want. I’ve got a woman who loves me. I’ve got lots and lots of money.
B
Right. I hate to have to do this. Well. Actually I don’t. I quite enjoy it. Listen/
A
Do what.
B
I know that fantasies are hard to get away from. I know they’re pleasant. I know one can lose oneself in them. But you have to realise that I’m trying to help you. And to do that I have to finally make clear to you the true nature of reality.
A
Which is what.
B
There are three things which reveal the true nature of reality. Impermanence. Unsatisfactoriness. And insubstantiality.
A
That’s a rather awful way to look at the world.
B
It’s the opposite. If things are impermanent, it means things are always changing. So things can get better. And the dissatisfaction you feel is due to the lack of intrinsic value these objects you are increasingly starting to covet, have. However, it leads to a desire to improve. If you are forever dissatisfied, due to the true nature of reality, it can often lead to positive things. Insubstantiality refers to objects. Objects which may seem to be immovable, permanent, unalterable in your mind, are in fact… nothing. We can class ourselves as objects in this case. Our bodies. Our minds. Our will. These things we hold onto and attribute aspects of immortality to. Puffs of smoke. Will I give you a further example to illustrate.
A
Why not.
B
Imagine there was another language.
A
That’s impossible.
B
Imagine it. It would have a different name for a chair. Let’s invent one.
A
Is that allowed.
B
Sure.
A
Don’t we have to put it to committee. There’s a registration process and/
B
Let’s call it a cahoor.
A
Nice word.
A
Already the chair’s reality is being stripped from it. It might not be much, but it is the first hint as to a transitive nature. It is not as solid as you think. Let’s take it further. The light has to travel from the chair you’re looking at to your eye.
A
Very quickly.
B
Nonetheless. It has to travel.
A
Very quickly.
B
Nonetheless. In that time the chair may have changed in nature. And so what are you really looking at. You’re not looking at the true nature of things. You’re looking at a facsimile of them. A close one, at times. But still a facsimile. And so we can never know the what really is… reality.
A
I don’t get it.
B
That was very basic. A university student would understand it. Let me give you another example.
A
Remember this is on my time.
B
I lived in a nice flat with all my possessions around me for about five years. I’ve recently moved to a house.
A
Nice house, is it.
B
Yes. Family now. I gave my keys to three men in boilersuits in the morning and went for a coffee. When I returned to my old house, all my possessions had gone. It was as if they’d never existed. Do you know what this made me think of.
A
Burglars.
B
Impermanence.
A
Mice. Sofas.
B
Mortality.
A
Now that’s an interesting subject.
B
Yes. It is.
A
Very interesting.
B
Have you been thinking about it. Mortality.
A
Yes. Very much.
B
That worries me slightly. You’re not going to…
A
I was just thinking about it.
B
Has anything I’ve said made any impact.
A
If I was going to be totally truthful. No. It doesn’t really affect me, does it.
B
So what are you going to do about this woman.
A
I don’t know. I’m kind of enjoying it. I kind of enjoy. Playing.
B
Playing. Playing, is it.
A
Life’s a game, after all. Musn’t take it too seriously.
B
Your time is up.
A
Well. Thank you for all your help. Like I said, I think that there wouldn’t be much to be gained by carrying on these sessions. I’ll take it from here.
B
You’re welcome. Goodbye.
SCENE FOUR
A
You called me in. Why.
B
Please sit.
A
I thought I made it clear that we had finished our course of sessions. Our tranche has come to an end.
B
Thank you for coming in.
A
I’m quite a busy man. You realise this.
B
Yes. I’ve seen you in the papers.
A
Have you. Yes, coverage has been more extensive than usual, lately.
B
Getting around. Getting around. What was that magazine called. Vanity something. Fitting.
A
If I wanted insults from you I’d pay for them.
B
It does indeed seem you have become as rich as Croesus.
A
I’d like to imagine, a little richer.
B
This is how you choose to use what you have at your fingertips.
A
I give some to charity. You know. You’re a strange fish. You know, a strange fish.
B
How so.
A
You’re the only person who I’ve told about this. True, it took a while for you to believe me. But I feel that I’ve given enough evidence that what I’m saying is true. And yet. Not once have you professed an interest in seeing your own book. I’d be happy to do it. I’d do that for you. I may dislike you, but you’ve helped. It was, after all, your suggestion which started it all off. I’d probably have been too scared otherwise, without that little push. But then, that’s what I was paying for. So. Why don’t you come with me to the library.
B
No thank you.
A
Why not.
B
Not everyone wants to know what’s written about them.
A
I don’t believe that.
B
I like my life. If I was to know how it was going to end, do you think it would make me any happier. Has it made you happier. I can tell, from looking at you, that you’ve gone further than you should have. To the end, maybe.
A
Not to the end.
B
Close, then.
A
Close.
B
You said a long time ago that you’d read past the present time. What did you read.
A
I said I only flicked.
B
Tell me.
A
It was awful.
B
Tell me.
A
I don’t believe what I read. Those people. But the good thing is that I can change it now. I can change things.
B
What happens to them.
A
They lose. Everything. I really can’t. I really don’t want to talk about this. It was you who asked me to come in, anyway.
B
Ah yes. Well. Here it is. I’ve seen her.
A
Seen who.
B
Seen her. She came here. Didn’t even make an appointment. Barged in. Which is fair enough. I guess. I’ve never seem a person so torn in two. She was shaking. And she had no idea what she was doing in my office. A babble of words, non-stop, coming from her mouth. Poor woman. When was the last time you’d seen her.
A
A while ago.
B
Did you finish the relationship.
A
Not quite.
B
You left it hanging. Left it vague.
A
I left it open.
B
I sat her down. We gave her a cup of herbal tea. And finally I managed to get some sense out of her. You’ve broken her heart.
A
I never promised her anything.
B
You made her fall in love with you.
A
She didn’t need to get quite so serious about it.
B
You’ve had other girlfriends, I presume.
A
Many. Many many.
B
She’s tried to kill herself.
A
That’s unfortunate.
B
Unfortunate. You say.
A
What else am I supposed to say.
B
Why did she come here. Did you talk about me.
A
I can’t think…Maybe she followed me. Or your secretary gave me some paper. I think it was headed note-paper. That’s the only explanations I have. Or she stole something. What did you tell her.
B
I didn’t tell her anything.
A
Confidential. Excellent.
B
No. I didn’t have the time. I didn’t want her to kill herself. I’ve had her sectioned. She’s under heavy sedation. That’s why I wanted to see you.
A
You’re not going to make me talk to her, or something like that.
B
No. Why break the habit. No. I think this has gone far enough.
A
I can’t be responsible for someone else’s action.
B
You haven’t been listening to a word, have you. Normally clients like you are a godsend. You can feed them with philosophy for beginners, a little bit of psychology and they go away, try to compute it, get nowhere, come back. Repeat business. But in this case I wish I had never met you. But now I’m probably as stuck in the wheel as this poor girl is. Like a moth in a bottle. Everywhere I turn, I see your work. The waves and waves of rogue acts you are creating don’t just flutter butterfly wings somewhere, they tear down towns and clear whole valleys. They clear forests, your acts. And all you can do is think of what it amasses. Wealth and some kind of false popularity. Lack of conscience, sir. Lack of conscience.
A
It would have happened to anyone.
B
No. It would not. It would not. The choice was in your hands. The pen was yours to move. I’ve had other people. Other visits. For the last week, it has been non-stop. You appeared to have used quite a few leaves of my paper. Either that, or you are being followed by a fair number of disgruntled human beings. Others who just want this world, as it is, to stop existing for them. People who have given up. People who have lost everything. To furnish you with what you have. Their eyes. Their, eyes. If you could see them. Other women abandoned. People suffering from scars of jealousy. People trapped inside their own minds. Who are just play for you.
A
I can’t go back. To how it was.
B
Why not.
A
I’ve done something. I’ll admit that. I’ve done something I can’t change. But I’ll fix things for the girl. I’ll fix them.
B
How.
A
I’ll go to the book. I’ll write some good things for her. I was only trying to help her.
B
You must get rid of the pages.
A
I could. Get rid of some of them.
B
Some of them.
A
Some of them.
B throws a zippo lighter to A.
B
All of them. It’s the only honourable course left for you.
A
But. I can’t do that. That’ll mean…
B
It’s the only honourable course left to you. The kharmic worm is in the fruit. It must be purged. You have to get rid of everything you wrote. Down to the smallest change.
A
But I don’t want to go back. If I do that. I’ll be… nothing. You’re a doctor. You’re supposed to help people. Help me.
B
I am. I’m helping her.
A
Don’t make me. Don’t make me.
B
You can still save yourself. Now go.
SCENE FIVE
B
You’re out of breath. You look in a state.
A
You’re still here.
B
Of course. You didn’t have an appointment. You’ve caused quite a scene.
A
Can I get a coffee.
B
We don’t have coffee. I’ve said that. Sit down. You look a mess.
A
Is that your daughter at the front desk. Work experience.
B
Leave her alone.
A
Just asking.
B
Leave her alone. This is the last time we’ll see one another. I want to make it quick. I want to know that I’ve played my part in this. I want to know that girl is alright. That all these people will be alright.
A
I’m sure you’re not supposed to come across as so threatening.
B
I am no longer your doctor. Am I right in imagining what you’ve just done. That you’ve acted well. Done what you said you would.
A
It hasn’t turned out. How you expected.
B
No.
A
I didn’t mean to do it.
B
Do what.
A
Look out the window.
B
What have you done.
A
I’m sorry.
B
Smoke. Is there a fire.
A
At the library.
B
What have you done.
A
I tried to do just what you said. But I couldn’t. You don’t understand. I really wanted to. But. And so I went to the library. They let me in, even though I don’t work there anymore.
B
Why did you go there. Why did you not just burn the book at home.
A
I found her book.
B
You did what.
A
I tried burning my book. But none of the pages would burn.
B
I don’t believe you.
A
I swear it’s the truth.
B
But that doesn’t make sense.
A
Nobody wants to die.
B
What do you mean.
A
Nobody wants to die. I certainly don’t. And so. I wrote in the book. What I wanted.
B
What did you want.
A
To live.
B
To live.
A
To never die.
B
To live forever. What a cliché. I can’t believe there’s no safeguards in the book against that kind of thing.
A
I guess I’ll know if there are safeguards later. Who ever designed it. God, I guess, designed a flawed world. Some people have always thought that. Maybe there’s other worlds which are more perfect than ours.
B
What did you do with her book.
A
I’m ashamed.
B
What did you do.
A
I found it and opened it. I’ve looked at some of the books now and again. So perfect. Perfect lines. The text so right. Her book was different. It was a mess. It was as if someone had taken a knife to it. There were burnt pages. Layers and layers of writing over and over each other. Pages joined together. The poor girl. I was looking at her pages. And I want you to know. I felt awful. But then, in a moment the thought came to me. I knew then exactly what to do. To remove all her pain. To wipe the slate clean. To give her a new chance.
B
You didn’t burn her book.
A
Yes. I was releasing her. Don’t you see.
B
You’ve killed her.
A
Her book caught light. The pages that were ruined. But I was too busy reading things in it. I couldn’t put it down.From when she was young. It’s addictive, when you see in front of you someone’s innermost thoughts. Their most intimate moments. Things which nobody else can see. It gives an immense feeling of. Of power. The flame spread further than I’d planned. It burnt my fingers. The book fell on the floor. As it fell it hit another one which caught. I ran to the nearest fire extinguisher, but there were none. Another design flaw. And I watched as the whole shelf went up. I grabbed my book and ran.
B
You didn’t call for help.
A
No.
B
Maybe the books are only a record. Maybe the people aren’t actually contained in the pages. Maybe people can exist without the book.
A
I thought so. As I walked here, though, I began to see people disappear. I saw buildings start to disappear and leave a strange nothingness behind them. It was terrible.
B
My family.
A
Look out. Look out. See. You can see. Someone’s opened an entrance in the library and the oxygen has got in. The rush of flames. Look at the world disappear. A tidal wave of negative matter. Look at it. Look how everything is becoming nothing.
B
My daughter.
A
What letter does your first name start with.
B
B.
A
I’m sorry.
B
It’s getting dark.
A
It’ll soon be over.
B
I’m forgetting things.
A
It’ll soon be over.
B
I understand now. I understand. Fictions. How embarrassing.
The darkness overtakes B. The sounds of destruction are all around. Soon there is only a pool of light around A. He holds the book in his hands. Then quiet all around. The ever decreasing light. A opens the book. It is a blank page. He takes out a pen. He speaks while he writes.
A
In the beginning was the word. And the word was…
The light is a small, extremely bright pin-prick. The moment before the big bang. A singularity. The moment of creation.
END.
![Jeremy Web[b] Internet Marketing](/templates/JB_Sketch_J1.5_v1.0.5/images/jb.png)